A powerful form of Learning!

As the Head of Department, every day, moment by moment, decision by decision, I am working to improve the quality of student experiences in AI. As I fill an ever-expanding array of roles – teacher mentors, total curriculum planner, cohort level advocates and reporting officer – in school, my leadership development journeys is most often a process of trial and error. As I journey, I found that leadership can be defined in many ways (to me is “Can Do” approach) and it does not come with a user’s manual, though I am glad to have received some specialized training and support for my new role. Instead, I believed that I learnt how to guide changes in learning environments while negotiating a complex obstacle course of “non-reporting” heads, interpersonal conflicts and change initiatives.

Inevitably, I found my new role leading me back to school daily operations – fumbling for answers and at times questioning myself.

“… a day before the training start: “I got a problem. Students are saying that they are unable to attend the training as they have to attend their compulsory CCA training/extra lesson. They were already informed about this but still their teachers insist of having it on that day. What to do? Has all my effort been a waste of time? (What Do I tell my teacher?)

Interrupts… “I am not comfortable with this idea of forward planning.” This spark resulted in other voices… “My student teaching comes first. I don’t feel we have enough time to plan now” “What if we only offer ideas first?” (How to respond to this web of worries and fears?)

Says “… He (HOD) don’t know what is happening on the ground. We just decide and do it at our level. Anyway, we don’t need to report to him. When he ask, we just tell him what we had done.” (Where Do I Stand? It can’t be a culture of Us(HODs) and Them)

School improvements will require fostering leadership with clear structures at all levels of the school system. When I was first approached to be the Head of Department, I feel a sense of duty to lead our school improvement efforts and indeed, I recognized that I have had meaningful learning opportunities to develop my leadership skills.

These one and a half years, I have my fair share of stories, all of which served as a powerful form of personal development for me to reflect on and learn from key turning points in my short journey into leadership.

Why is this powerful? Well, because of the inherent qualities such experiences offered me!

It begins with me!

I totally agreed with one of my teacher’s second reflection that it is not events (personal or work) in our lives that upset us, rather it is how we think about them. If something bad happens, I know of people who just complain and fear they will never feel better again. I think that such people don’t just get upset. Instead they contribute to their “upsetness”.

But someone else like him in the same situation said "This too shall pass” - and he know he is trying his best to handle it – both at home and in school counseling students.

I consider this as same event, but two different perspectives. I know we cannot control many of the things that happen to us, but I believe we can control how we react to them.

But what should we react to first? I read a book which distinguishes most of the problems people encountered as practical problems and emotional problems – where practical problems are difficulties and conflicts with others and external world. These include poor results, late payment, not having a date and not able to perform duty. Emotional problems are unpleasant feelings and emotional distress about our practical problems which include anxiety, anger, depression, guilt, shame and procrastination. Hence, putting first things first, I believe that it is important that we deal first with our own emotional distress about the practical problem and then to deal with the practical problem.

I myself would like things to go my way, but really there is nothing that says they should. I now keep reminding myself that I have what it takes to improve my mood - and my life. And it begins with me!

What is inside Me?

Last week, one of my teacher’s reflections was about how and why he became a school counselor. His first reflection speaks about his upbeat and purposeful feelings whenever he counsel students. I believed that this is so because his main motivation in becoming a school counselor is to counsel students – hence through counseling students he found the work rewarding and meaningful. 

My first reflection of T2, I spoke about teaching is never easy, but right now it is an especially tough time to be a teacher. Among the many “businesses”, it is indeed easy for us to lose perspective of where we are really going.

I have had experienced hard times when I barely was able to keep myself in survival mode or defensive attitudes of negative teachers with no sense of direction. But other times being a teacher provided me with the chance to feel empowered and to develop one of the finest human qualities, such as human connection, shared wonderment with students, and commitment by fellow teachers. I realized that it is the later that held the greatest positive potential of my position as teacher – the way I can touch and open my students’ minds as well as hearts and energize myself at the same time.

My reflections provided me with a great help in making sense of present and past teaching experience. So is remaining in touch with what is still growing inside me – the qualities and longing to grow and manifest for future times.

As I experienced the different roles and responsibilities this year, I become more aware of my own true potential, and so the more I can “self-talk” myself about all the good things I have to offer, hence the greater the possibility of it becoming a reality. That is what I think made the difference between “Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen and others make it happen.” – a quote from my favorite NBA Basketball Player.

Hence, it is also important for me have a vision of my potential and that of my students. For me, it is about learning more and feeling better, both physically and emotionally. I want to widen my knowledge, focusing on the importance of positive teacher student relationships aimed at building a productive climate and meeting the needs of the students. Last week’s reflection, I mentioned about wanting my students to know that learning does not just stop at the end of schooling – that learning is lifelong process and that we are all never too old to learn and I want to model it for my students.  I also want to take care of myself and rest appropriately so that I have all the energy that’s needed for everyday teaching and for my family after work. I believe that it is such vision that will keep me focused and energized in my daily work with a strong sense of purpose.

  

What I most want to pass along as A Teacher?

This week, my reflection continues to explore my lived experience as a teacher.

As teachers we impart knowledge and learning as we mold our students – giving advice and guidance to them. Often the advice is filtered through our own life experience. While we give such advice whole-heartedly with only good intentions, sometimes, it is received by students as lectures or “shoulds”.

How did this happen? One of the reasons may be such good intention advice should not be about “we teachers” knowing what’s best for “them – our students”. What could we do to transform our advice into actual guidance for our students?

Well, I came to realize after observing my school leaders at work that there is a need to change my directive voice (aka advice) into non-directive voice. But what will it take to enable me to do so? This requires me to be humble, caring and respectful for the journeys of our students are going through. Hence, I need to be more open hearted to acknowledge the “largeness” of life and the mystery of what future holds for each of them. In this way, they – my students are not about “me” knowing what is best for “them”

However, there are also important things I want to pass along to all my students. I want my students to know that learning does not just stop at the end of the school day, the end of examinations or when the school terms end. Learning is lifelong process, and that we are all never too old to learn. Reasoning is important, not just during mathematics lesson but in every lesson. I want them to be lifelong reasoning thinkers. To reason to draw conclusion, to reason so as to infer and make judgment. Also, knowing how to live with what we have, value it and responsibly share it with other.

Indeed, as I reflect on these important things I want to pass along – though still in progress – it helps filled my teaching with warmth and depth.

Listening deeply

One of the most important aspects of being a teacher is undoubtedly the relationship with our students, especially with teenagers.

There are great times when everything is running smoothly, communication flows easily, and we feel on top of the world. I am sure all teachers at one point and another would have experienced this! But at times we also have to deal with hostility, anger or even hurtful remarks toward us – more likely the authority we represent. Or we have to deal with classroom conflicts and scary issues such as bullying and fight. This year, I came to find out of how some of them will find skillful ways to undermine teacher’s self-esteem and authority, and others even manage to elicit from teachers what they most dislike about themselves.

To me, the worst occurs when relationship with difficult colleagues gets stuck in a negative pattern, and there is a feeling of bitterness or even isolation. Throughout my years in school, I know of probably students who will confront and push teachers to very limits of our patience – but from negative colleagues? Or maybe I should reexamine how much I am letting them ruin my fun week?

That is why I realized that my own emotions and awareness are so critical in this teaching profession. It is especially important for me as head of department to see beyond the surface, to read situations accurately, and to realize what the problematic situation I am constantly being tested on, along with my flexibility to adapt and change.

When I listen deeply to both my students and positive colleagues, they become my teachers. I can then touch the depth of their true feelings and needs which I discovered when I did the survey and attended the focused group discussion. I also discovered my own developmental lacks and blind spots that they witness daily.

Those magic moments when we manage to treat students and fellow teachers as sensible human beings, even in difficult situations, express our professionalism, care and concern for our students. True healing happens.