Listening deeply

One of the most important aspects of being a teacher is undoubtedly the relationship with our students, especially with teenagers.

There are great times when everything is running smoothly, communication flows easily, and we feel on top of the world. I am sure all teachers at one point and another would have experienced this! But at times we also have to deal with hostility, anger or even hurtful remarks toward us – more likely the authority we represent. Or we have to deal with classroom conflicts and scary issues such as bullying and fight. This year, I came to find out of how some of them will find skillful ways to undermine teacher’s self-esteem and authority, and others even manage to elicit from teachers what they most dislike about themselves.

To me, the worst occurs when relationship with difficult colleagues gets stuck in a negative pattern, and there is a feeling of bitterness or even isolation. Throughout my years in school, I know of probably students who will confront and push teachers to very limits of our patience – but from negative colleagues? Or maybe I should reexamine how much I am letting them ruin my fun week?

That is why I realized that my own emotions and awareness are so critical in this teaching profession. It is especially important for me as head of department to see beyond the surface, to read situations accurately, and to realize what the problematic situation I am constantly being tested on, along with my flexibility to adapt and change.

When I listen deeply to both my students and positive colleagues, they become my teachers. I can then touch the depth of their true feelings and needs which I discovered when I did the survey and attended the focused group discussion. I also discovered my own developmental lacks and blind spots that they witness daily.

Those magic moments when we manage to treat students and fellow teachers as sensible human beings, even in difficult situations, express our professionalism, care and concern for our students. True healing happens.