Not Kidding Myself

I have been trying hard to see the situation as it is for two months now since becoming the acting head of department. What do I mean? I try to recognize, almost as a sixth sense, through my conversations with the various teachers all the sorts of things that can happen and often do in the student development department. And they happen because teachers behave for all sorts of reasons, virtuous and trying, clear and acting “muddle”, sensible and nutty. All in all, I take it as realism, but not pessimism or cynicism. In this way, it makes ample room for the many ways in which teachers and events can surprise, dismay and astonish.

Some days, things turn out worse than expected, and simple looking problems turn out to be complicated. Hence, I realized the need to move carefully and put together plans. Other times, things turn out much better than expected, so I readily seize the opportunities. And, quite often, things simply turn out very differently from what anyone expected. Then I have to react.

I am learning to see the department as a kaleidoscope rather than a well-mapped terrain with the help of my school leaders. My conversations with them helped provide me with clarity as I learn my roles and responsibilities. I value trust, and I also remember how fragile trust can be. While I am not a cynic, I also don’t overestimate the idealism of other teachers, some of whom have constantly reminded me that they have been in the school or department longer than I have – or my own. I am also aware of my limits and subtleties of being the department head. There are those who have been inside the department longer than I am – the powerful insiders, guarding their interests and outsiders of the department who wants to also have a say on what is happening in the department. These are among the reasons why I move step- by- step, constantly consulting my school leaders to work things out and move the department forward. Hopefully in this way, I will learn how to handle problems and so know my role well.