Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Take on “Think Win/ Win”



I was asked to share my reflection by my teacher on one of the habits of Public Victory, which focused on success in working with other people – on Habit 4: Think Win/ Win.

Contrary to the title, Think Win/Win is not about being nice; neither is it a technique, program nor quick fix anecdote to make people cooperate. It is a philosophy for human interaction. Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing – that is if I win, you lose or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. Win/ Win is one of the six paradigms of interaction. The others are Win/ Lose, Lose/ Win, Lose/ Lose, Win. Of the six paradigms of interaction, which is the most effective? The best choice depends on reality. However, if the situation is part of an interdependent reality, then Win/ Win is the only viable alternative. Win/ Win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win/ Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/ Win means agreements or solutions that are mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying. Win/ Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everyone. Win/ Win is a belief that it is not your way or my way, it is a better way! However, if there is no agreeable solution to both – then there is Win/ Win or No Deal!

Character is the foundation of Win/ Win attitude and has three character traits, namely integrity (our own values), maturity (expressing feelings and conviction with courage with consideration for feelings and convictions of others) and abundance. Many people think in either/or terms: if you are nice, you are not tough. Win/ Win attitude is both! Both nice and tough! To go for Win/ Win, not only have to be nice, but also need to be courageous. Not only have to emphatic, but also have to be confident. Not to be considerate and sensitive, but also to be brave. And all these are only possible by achieving a balance between courage and consideration which is the essence of real maturity and fundamental to Win/ Win.



So, what does that mean to me? In last week’s reflection, I spoke of my purpose at work is to take responsible for the holistic care of and to grow and develop my teachers. Therefore, I decided to look at my role as a people developer and together with my teachers evaluated my maturity level in our relationship based on courage and consideration – one relationship which I would like to develop using the Win/ Win approach. Below is a summary of the evaluation of my maturity level in my relationship by my teachers and myself. The results showed that I am above average in courage (average 7.7) and high in consideration (average 8.8).
 


Both my teachers have considered me high in both courage and consideration – which I hope to live up to their expectations. As for myself, I placed myself slightly above average on courage but believed that I am high on consideration. Hence, my personal action is to have the courage to express myself and be able to courageously confront while staying considerate of other’s feelings. In this way, I hope to be frank and honest with others so as to let others know clearly how I see the situation and still willing to listen and respect the other person’s perspectives.

Having completed my assessment of my maturity level, I am now ready to move forward to start cultivating a Win/ Win relationship with my teachers by looking for mutually beneficial solutions and by continuous teacher engagement through having clear expectations, communication, listening with empathy, honest and frank feedback, respect and always providing a helping hand.
 


Sunday, September 23, 2012

My Take on “Put First Things First”



It has been 3 months after the June Holiday since we read “the 7 habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. I will attempt to share my reflection and also hear from my other colleague’s reflections on the habits written in the book – for me is on Habit 3: Put First Things First.

Learning how to Put First Things First addresses good time management which can be a real challenge for many people. Too often, our focus is on things and time, rather than on preserving and enhancing relationships and accomplishing results. So, Put First Things First also involves life management as well – knowing your purpose, values, roles and priorities. So, First things are things we, personally find most worth doing. Many of our activities are affected by two factors, namely urgency and importance. Most of us are driven by the concept of urgency and so urgency is our continuous focus. Such urgency usually falls into the category of “must be done” which may not be our highest priority, so this is Put Second Things First. But to really affect positive change in our lives, we need to reorganize the way we spend our time, to focus on the concept of importance – not urgency. And to live a more balanced existence of our lives, it is important to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There is no need to overextend ourselves. All it takes is realizing that it is all right – as cited in the book, pleasantly, smiling and non-apologetically say no when necessary and focus on the highest priorities.

So, what does that mean to me? Well, this reading urges me to understand myself better and become better at working out what relationships I should get into and what activities I should focus on. It prompted me to revisit my own purpose, values, roles and priorities. After much thought, I still stand by my decision that my family and my work are my two highest priorities and big things of my satisfied life. However, as I reflected on how I spend my time (say 2 weeks after the September holidays), I came to realize as shown below that I have not fully met my highest priorities. I am still reacting to urgent matters and managing one issue after another. 



Now that I know where I spend most of my time on a regular basis, next I considered where all these are taking me – the purpose. My purpose focused on two areas: Family and Work.


My life purpose spins around my family – I desire a sustainable deep, loving relationship with my family. As mentioned in last year’s reflection, to me, there is no conflict about work and family. In fact, I still find such constant juggling act in which parenting, teaching and leadership, in which each informs me of the other, and each also strengthens the other. I believe in this and was happy to see them confirmed this year when I wanted to play a part in my children’s learning journey and contributed by teaching them to think using methods that works well for them. But I feel that the challenge remains – for me to maintain this attitude that parenting, teaching and leadership complements each other as my roles and responsibilities grow.

My purpose at work as a middle manager is to ensure the learning of my students. And there is no better way to drive students’ learning than to develop the teachers who spend hours educating them every day. Hence, my role as a people developer is important – I am responsible to take holistic care of and to grow and develop my teachers (I will illustrate what I mean by growing and developing of my teachers in my later reflection). Last December’s reflection on the people developer – on the need to establish genuine relationship with teachers and setting of high expectations on the teaching and learning aspects of teachers remains relevant. However, my attempt with data-driven instructions as a cohort dean remains skeptical to teachers. “Just teaching to the test?” My belief remains unchanged, is that data-driven instructions provide information about how we teachers teach, assess and reteach. Such information will help teachers to rethink some of the ineffective teaching and implement new teaching. But this data-driven program I know I needed to give up this year as the teachers are not yet ready for its implementation. Instead, I will attempt to pursue the enhancement of teacher development next year by building on the observation and feedback cycle.

As I balance the Big Things in my life purpose and purpose at work, the reading also reminded me not to become overwhelmed, to start with some of the small changes instead of trying to take on everything at once. In this way, by taking up the responsibility guided by my purpose and values, I now will move forward and live by them!